Recovering from anorexia

I’m not an expert on anorexia. The advice I give to those who ask me for help aims most of all to be good common sense.

First, you need to think about why you have anorexia. The more honest anorexics I’ve spoken to admit it’s their way of feeling in control. And it’s also got a lot to do with having an addictive and maybe a compulsive personality.

Self-expression
Many people with anorexia are using it as a way of expressing themselves. Just like when you were angry with your mum as a small child and the only way you could manipulate her was by refusing to eat.

A woman with anorexia (let’s call her ‘Lisa’) worked in my office once. She was secretive about her anorexia, covering up her arms and legs so that I couldn’t see how thin she was. Lisa had issues with being told what to do. Whenever I asked her to do filing work, which she felt was beneath her (it was a job I never did myself) she never openly objected, but she would do it very sloppily.

Lisa’s way of expressing her objections was by not eating. One day she very pointedly asked me to unscrew a jar for her. I unscrewed it very easily and she used this as an opportunity to say ‘I think you’ve probably realised there’s something wrong, haven’t you?’ I didn’t really know what she was talking about, but I said yes anyway to encourage her to talk.

‘The fact is, I’ve suffered from anorexia for a long time, and it’s got much worse since I’ve been working for you. I’m finding that the filing work is really making it worse, so could you maybe do that instead of me?’

Manipulation
Yes, it was childish manipulation and I wasn’t having any of it. But how sad it was to be stuck at that level of emotional development. When you have such a distorted way of looking at the world maybe it is very tempting, in a world where thin = beautiful, to take your habit just that little bit further until it becomes compulsive.

Some anorexics who claim to be recovering do not really have any intention of doing so. They approach nutritionists for help, not with eating more, but with coping with the side effects of malnutrition. For instance ‘Is there a vitamin pill I can take to give me more energy?’ or ‘I’ve put on a lot of weight due to water retention because of my anorexia. What should I do to get rid of it?’

If you’re determined
If you’re really determined to get better, people around you will always be glad to help. Yes, it’s scary to eat normally – you think you’re going to look like Pavarotti the minute you eat a potato chip or a piece of steak. But you will not get rid of this mindset unless you throw down your defences and come out of isolation. A really good step is to join a group like the Eating Disorders Association or its US equivalent. Psychotherapy can also help. Try to make friends with people who eat sensibly. Ask them for help and copy what they eat. If they are not overweight then if you eat the same as them you won’t get overweight either. It’s hard at first as your appetite will be small, but perseverance will reap its rewards.

Here’s a picture of a starving child. The tummy is swollen with water retention caused by protein deficiency and lack of food. Anorexics can get a swollen tummy for similar reasons but believe their tummy to be ‘fat’ and continue to starve themselves, making the problem worse.

I don’t want to be harsh but I think voluntary self-starvation is an insult to children like this who are dying because they cannot get enough food.

Related posts:

1. Anorexia